A Painful Start to the New Year

I really thought this year was going to be a lot better year, but so far it has started out way different than I hoped. The very first day of the new year I cut my thumb pretty bad and it took forever for it to heal, I also dropped a big piece of wood on my foot. Oh my goodness, that hurt pretty bad. January isn't even over and that was just the beginning. We found out on Christmas Eve that Brandon & Bethany were expecting a baby. We were so overjoyed to hear the news. She was about 4 weeks along. When she was 8 weeks they lost the baby. This was so heartbreaking. I lost a baby that was still born. She was our first baby and she died just a few hours before she was born (on the day she was due). That was pretty tough on a 19 year old, but it was really painful to watch your own child go through losing something so precious to them. I believe you hurt worse for your children than you do for yourself and I know that I just want to take that pain on myself to spare them from having to hurt so bad. Prayer is the only answer, the best way I know to help them. So I have been doing a lot of that.

I am hoping that the rest of the year will begin to get better. I know I am not giving in to it and am going to try to make the best of whatever happens. We really have no control over each day, it is all in God's hands and I know that he loves us and will be there for us no matter what we face each day.

I am very thankful for my wonderful family which includes my "extended" family. I have the best mother-in-law there is. She has been there every step of every thing that my family has been through, she has totally supported everything my kids have done during the years they were growing up and continues to do that today. She even helps us with Kyleigh & Emma anytime Leanne asks for her help and never ever complains or resents helping out. Family is very important to me and being apart of Wayne's family all these years have had its ups and downs but through it all I know that they will always be there for us, that they love us unconditionally and will always make sure that we are a huge part of their every day life.

I have had a lot of disappointments with my dad's side of the family for many many years, but I have come to terms with that as much as I can. I can't do a whole lot about the past, but intend on making sure I don't have to go through those kind of heartaches ever again. I do have some very special people from that side that I will always treasure, the rest, well I just don't know what to say......

Oh well, that is enough rambling for now. I am looking forward to the rest of 2010, hopefully it will end up being an awesome year for everyone!


I will always miss my precious PeeWee!